A month ago, I signed up to receive an ebook about parenting, Good Enough Parenting: The Sensible Discipline Guide for New Parents by Lisl Fair. The offer for a free copy of a book that focused on disciplining came at an opportune time. We were having trouble disciplining our two children and I was feeling frustrated, not to mention incompetent, for not being able to discipline them properly.
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Our kids are age three and four and my husband and I are still novices at parenting. Moreover, we’ve been raised in entirely different family backgrounds. My parents never resorted to corporal punishment while his parents did not spare the rod. Aside from this, my husband and I also have completely opposite temperaments and often have conflicting views on certain discipline tactics. I can’t even count how many times we’ve argued when I found his disciplining too harsh.
Aside from differences in our methods of discipline, I also happen to be one insecure parent. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve broken down and felt so horrible for not being a good parent. Prior to getting married and having kids, I’ve always thought that I would be a perfect housewife and a perfect mother to my children. Then came the kids and the realization that parenting is not as easy as just pleasing your children and keeping them happy and well-loved. There are things you don’t expect to have to think about like juggling life and retirement in terms of what you’re spending on your kids.
Good Enough Parenting reassures moms like me that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all lose it at times and we will make several mistakes at parenting but being the best parent that we can be for our children is more than enough to help them grow as mature, responsible and loving individuals.
While other parenting books claim some fool-proof disciplining method that would work like magic in our homes, Good Enough Parenting merely suggests ways to train our children but acknowledges that each family is unique and each one would require a unique disciplining goal. The book gives us specific instances (and I can relate to most of them, really!) where behaviour problems arose and how the author was able to deal with them at home.
Parents are also encouraged to have their own parenting goals and a set of discipline tactics that are well suited to each child’s personality. For parents with multiple children, it is important to know and understand the nature of each child as this is essential in providing the love that they need while training them. Our aim as parents is to shape our children’s will and build their character, not control their lives. I have learned that discipline and training can be done in an atmosphere of love and acceptance.
I am not a perfect parent but I am good enough for my children. I’m the Tottering Mama and will most likely teeter-totter in my journey as a parent, but I am assured that even my little children will learn from my stumbles and grow up as independent and responsible adults. After reading Good Enough Parenting, I now realize that striving for perfection is a futile endeavour. Sometimes, good enough is better than perfect.
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Disclosure: Apart from receiving an ecopy of the book from Brainy Connections, I did not receive any compensation for this post and all opinions are solely mine.
looks like the ebook is a beneficial to read…hope it will help you with your kids
I have veered away from parenting books because I always feel bad if I didn’t do this or that. I could totally relate with you on being an insecure parent. I am just so glad that my eldest is very resilient and bounces back when I lose my temper with her.
May I say we are on the same boat. I have 2 boys, 4 and 6 yrs old. I already tried different tactics, my way and my hubby’s but still it seems they don’t take me seriously. Many times I’d just cry because of frustration. Thanks for sharing your points.
It is difficult to discipline small children. My son is 2yrs old and as he grows older he’s being more difficult to handle. My discipline method is different from my mother (we’re extended family) and more often it clashes and my son gets away with his mischief. The book seems to be a good guide for new parents like us.
though i am not yet a parent…i can tell that discplining kids will be a challenge to you and to the kids. i guess like school you’ll both be learning from each encounter.
This is really helpful and might use with my 2-year old son. Although at this moment, we can control him pa. But sometimes he’s doing silly things na that he thinks are funny. hehe.
We aim to be the best parents/ mothers. Thanks for sharing this book. Going to download it now. Hope it helps me and hubby.
I’d like to read this book. It sounds realistic. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all fail at one time or the other depending on the circumstances.
that book will surely help us mommies how to decipline our chikdren…
it’s tough being a parent and I say this as an observer. have your read the “unconditonal parenting” by alfie kohn? my friend applies that philosophy to her children. quite effective in raising independent-minded kids.
Hope I can get my hands on that book. I wanna read it as well.
I’d like to read that book too. I try to read tips from mommy blogs and try to apply some. And if the strategy works with my kid, we stick to it.
My husband and I also have some differences in disciplining. But we make sure that we don’t contradict each other in front of the children. Doing so will only undermine the other’s authority.
Let no one else judge how good a parent you are, only your kids can truly tell. Diba? I can only hope to have kids in the future, and to be a good enough parent to them, just as our parents were to us.
I have 4 kids–our eldest about to go off to college next month–and I feel uncertain and vulnerable as a parent often. Yet, the reward of giving love and receiving it in return helps to reduce the insecurity…
A must have for parents out there.
im a new parent as well and this is one of my fear, how to discipline and how to give a good example. thanks for sharing mom! now i know good enough is way better than perfect parenting, besides no body is perfect, right?
This is a good share. I am also concerned about disciplining my kids. Sometimes I feel guilty if I’m doing too much or less? I would like to get that ebook as well. Thanks for this! 🙂
My SIL always tell me that I’m doing well with my kids. And not to be pressured. Very well said sis.
Visiting from CE Aug21.