You’re excited about your new baby, but you’re also a little worried. There’s that nagging voice in the back of your head. It won’t shut up.
“Will my husband still find me attractive after the baby is born?”
It’s a common fear shared by many moms-to-be who are anxious about their post baby body. Well, here’s what your husband is thinking, but won’t ever say to your face.
“I Don’t Understand Your Pain, But I Understand The Results”
A surprising number of men “feel your pain,” even if they can never understand it. Many men had their “glory days” back in high school or college. They were the wrestling champ, the star football player. Maybe they lifted weights and tried to stay in shape. When they got serious about their career and got married, things started to change. After a baby, things start to change dramatically.
And, that’s when their bodies start to change, and not always for the better. They lose their hair, they get fatter, they start to show signs of getting older. Some men even pursue plastic surgery to “fix” what they think is “wrong” with them, according to KRPlasticSurgery.com.
So, while you might think you’re husband looks at you differently, it might not be in a negative light. You may have just found a stronger partner who can relate to you (at least on some level).
“I Like Your Stretch Marks”
Some men like stretch marks. It’s a sign of maturity. For some, it’s a sign of beauty because children are beauty. It seems strange, but it’s true.
“I Hate Fakeness, And I Appreciate The “Realness Of Your Body”
Many men are just as cautious about women who try too hard to look sexy as you are about men trying to “act younger than they really are.” There’s a sort of fakeness to it – one that men sense from a mile away. Being pregnant, and having your body change, is about as authentic as it gets. Embrace it.
Some men go so far as to say that they hate plastic surgery and don’t want their wife to have her boobs done, butt lifted, and cheeks filled out. Of course, if you ask your hubby whether you look fat in your jeans, he’s unlikely to tell you the truth. The truth can hurt sometimes. And, he loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you.
“I’m A Jerk and I Know It”
Of course, not all men appreciate a postpartum body. Some husbands really won’t understand their wives, what they’re going through, or appreciate the gravity of the situation. And, those men end up single.
If your husband seems to be disconnected from you and what you’re going through, you might have a problem. Sometimes, men “tune out” and believe that depression or a change in your attitude is “all in your head.”
For these men, they have a serious empathy problem, for sure. But, what should you do? What can you do?
Sometimes, nothing. But, if you open up a conversation about it, you’re sure to find out. And, that can give you valuable information – regardless of how things turn out.
This is a guest post by Dr Kevin M. Ruhge who is an Aesthetic Plastic Surgeon. He is a member of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and is always keen to take the opportunity to share his views and research with an online audience. He has already written a number of articles about reconstructive surgery.